Turd Doormat | Funny Front Door Mat

The Turd Doormat: A Funny Front Door Mat With Zero Shame

Somewhere out there is a porch with a Live Laugh Love mat and a seasonal wreath, and God bless it. This is not that porch. This porch has a turd on the doormat — a proud, cartoon-cute little turd — because you figured out long ago that the fastest way to sort your guests is at the door. The ones who laugh come in. The ones who clutch their pearls were never going to be fun at dinner anyway. (We invented the rude doormat in 2009, so this funny front door mat comes with pedigree. A turd with papers.)

Pick your fighter: our eco coir comes in 8 sizes — skinny apartment doors all the way up to big French-door situations — and likes a covered porch, out of the sun & rain. Or go all-weather recycled rubber and let it live anywhere; when it gets gross, you hose off the turd, which is a sentence we never get tired of typing. And as gifts go, nothing says "I know exactly who you are" like shipping a turd to your best friend's doorstep. Housewarmings, white elephants, the sibling who thinks they're funnier than you.

Fair warning, and it's a real one: this design lives in our Last Chance collection, so once it sells through, it won't be reprinted — and then your porch is just another turdless porch like everybody else's. Stuck on size or material? Ask Perogi, our chatbot assistant (a very good pug with strong doormat opinions), or read How Do I Choose a Doormat? and pick your poop with confidence.